Mama Knows Best
“You’re not a door mat,” she would say.
“Stand up for yourself,” she would encourage.
“You don’t have to take his crap,” she would admonish.
“I raised you better,” she would remind.
“You deserve to be treated better,” she would counsel.
“I just want you to be happy,” she would conclude.
But I didn’t believe her.
“I need to be grateful,” I told myself.
“I can’t lose him,” I cried.
“He’s all that matters to me,” I believed.
“It’ll all be worth it in the end,” I convinced myself.
“He loves me the only way he knows how to love me,” I lied to myself.
“It’s my job to make him happy,” I accepted.
And through it all, I lost myself.
The more grateful I was, the more arrogant he became.
The more I fought for him, the more he dismissed my efforts.
The more he mattered, the less I mattered.
The more I believed in us, the less work he exerted into the relationship.
The more I loved him, the more he distanced himself from me.
The more I accommodated his every need, the more he took.
And when there was nothing left to take…he left me in pieces.
Now I understand Mama.
Now I hear your words.
I hid it all from you because I thought I knew better than you.
But I was wrong.
And now I’m gonna make it right.
I’ve found myself Mama.
That little piece of you, in me
And it’s beautiful, it’s perfect, it’s divine.
Mama always knows best.